Boring Sunday

Today was the most boring Sunday ever. The only 2 things that were interesting were that in my church there was a new girl who I’m guessing is not coming back because she was super-uncomfortable and she kept saying we were all weird. The other one is that my church is possibly being shut down because of financial trouble.

But also, I have been into Zombies lately. I love the Resident Evil movies and Resident Evil 4. The reason I love Resident Evil 4 is because of Leon S. Kennedy!!! To be completely honest, he is my favorite Resident Evil character out of the entire saga. I even have Resident Evil Degeneration, Extinction, and the game Resident Evil 4. My dad has played that game millions of times, I can’t even count.

I tried to draw Jill Valentine while I was watching Resident Evil 2, but I failed miserably because of the hair. Drawing her hair in anime is really hard. Hopefully, I will get things like that figured out sometime.

God, today was boring. It sucked a lot. The only thing I can really do during days like this is blog and pace while daydreaming and listening to music. I do that quite a lot. The daydreams are anywhere from Zombie apocalypses to just what I should’ve done in a situation that already happened. I sometimes even have daydreams where I cry. Sometimes I daydream those type of things when I need to cry—because crying is good medicine when you feel overwhelmed or depressed. I don’t know why, but it always helps me.

I actually want to meet my favorite youtuber of all time at vidcon when I get enough money. His name is Damian Sanders-Baron, or makemebad35. He is my #1 favorite. He tops Shane Dawson even in my opinion, and Shane comes in as #3. #2 is Kyle or twelthofadime. They are all hilarious. I’m trying to entertain people and make vlogs that share my life, but I don’t have a digital video camera.

Today I also realized that some guys that I know, their girlfriends are threatened by me. My theory is that they are threatened of me because they are afraid I’ll take away their boyfriends. I wouldn’t do that intentionally. The reason I say that is I would do that unintentionally if,

A.      The guy was cheating on his girlfriend by using me and I didn’t know.

Or

B.      The girlfriend wanted to get back together with the guy and I didn’t know that.

Either way, I don’t want anyone to see me as a threat to their relationship.

Funny, the other day I went up to one of the guys, so I could say sorry to him, after he said he didn’t care, his girlfriend walked up as I was walking away, and he asked in a very soft and sympathetic voice to her,

“What’s wrong?”

I thought on the entire way home on the bus,

“Why couldn’t he be that way toward me? Why couldn’t any guy be that way toward me? If only I was her, then I could be with him, and he wouldn’t be afraid of me anymore.”

Romantic love is one of my weaknesses, but family love is one of my strengths. I just want someone who will actually care about my feelings, treat me like I matter, and will stay with me at least for a month. But still, I want one of the guys I like at least to treat me that way, at least for a while, and not be a total jerk. I’ve been heartbroken and feeling unwanted when it comes to guys. God, now I’m getting all teary. I’m going to stop there for today. :*)