Lost a Friend

Well, it's finally happened. Someone I love, my best friend James, is gone from my life. He's not dead, but he's leaving my school. His mom hates me, and has tried to cut him off from my life. It's not fair that I have to be in pain for so long. I might never see him again. I can't stand it. I love him, and apparently it's against his religion to kiss before marriage, which means I can't give him one kiss before he leaves. He knows I love him, and it's not fair that fate is making us go separate ways. He was there for me when I had no-one, when I was suicidal, when my heart was broken, and when I needed a friend the most. No-one can change that, and nothing will either. James, I love you, and always will.
In other news, I got an update about my ex Jared. Apparently, he is with someone, he has a beard that apparently is massive, and that's about it. I'm thinking about writing a note to the person who told me this because he works at Kroger, but I don't know. I'm kind of afraid to. Before you ask, no I'm not going to try and get back together with him. He's too F*#$ed up for me to date now. Even more than before.
Also, I almost forgot, James is Really 14, not 15 now. He apparently was 11 when I dated him, and I thought otherwise.

Awkward homecoming, awesome video, Last Vlad Tod Book, and Temple Grandin

Awkward Homecoming

So my homecoming was last week, and it was awkward. The friend I went with named Rob ditched me when we got there even though my mom charged him with the duty of looking out for me. He is a junior. I got to dance sometimes with 5 people at once. Unfortunately, there were 2 things bringing me down:

1.   1    No-one romantically danced with me

2.    2   Seeing people lip lock a lot.

It was still sort of fun, but I don’t think that now. Oh well.

Awesome Video

I made a video the other day called 28 Months Later. It is my own 1:33 second sequel of 28 weeks later. I was going to shoot darts with my friend/ex-boyfriend and his little brother, and I was going to vlog about it while I was there. But then I realized that since I had a camera, nerf guns, and was at a park, I could shoot my own sequel to one of my favorite zombie movies 28 Weeks Later. I know that it looks sucky, but here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGbdCfRxXx4&feature=feedu

It only took under 30 minutes to make with only a few outtakes and one extra piece that I am not allowed to post.

Last Vladimir Tod Book

I am doing the last book of the series The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod for my book report. It’s called:

The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod: Twelfth Grade Kills

The next book report I’m doing is called:

The Slayer Chronicles: First Kill

I actually bought the book and it’s a signed copy too. But when I read the last book of Vlad Tod, I cried. These are the reasons why:

1.       Vlad had to kill someone in his family

2.       Too many people died

3.       It was over

I actually have 1 favorite part because it made fun of Twilight:

Mulling it over Vlad wiped the lip gloss off with the back of his hand. Vampires, after all, didn’t sparkle.

Vlad had just kissed Meredith for no reason in the book, and she was wearing glittery lip gloss. YAY HEATHER BREWER HATEST TWILIGHT!!!!!!! Also, from what I can guess from her dedicating her book to who she calls The Minion Horde, I’d say she means that the horde is the fans.

Temple Grandin

For those of you who don’t know, Dr. Temple Grandin is a woman who is Autistic, but is amazing. She didn’t speak until the age of 4, but in the end, she got a PhD, a masters, and changed the way we look at Autism. Here is a photo of what she looks like:

http://cascade.uoregon.edu/spring2010/photos/TempleGrandinCropped.jpg

She started figuring out things about the nerves when she was in High School at her Aunt Ann’s Cattle Ranch. She saw this machine that basically ‘hugs’ the cattle and calms them down. She started using it, and then she calmed down. She also figured out what abilities she had that she could use. She also has photographic memory. As she puts it, her mind works like Google Images. She is an amazing woman, and is one of my heroes. I will have a new blog post next month or next week. I don’t know when.

Boring Sunday

Today was the most boring Sunday ever. The only 2 things that were interesting were that in my church there was a new girl who I’m guessing is not coming back because she was super-uncomfortable and she kept saying we were all weird. The other one is that my church is possibly being shut down because of financial trouble.

But also, I have been into Zombies lately. I love the Resident Evil movies and Resident Evil 4. The reason I love Resident Evil 4 is because of Leon S. Kennedy!!! To be completely honest, he is my favorite Resident Evil character out of the entire saga. I even have Resident Evil Degeneration, Extinction, and the game Resident Evil 4. My dad has played that game millions of times, I can’t even count.

I tried to draw Jill Valentine while I was watching Resident Evil 2, but I failed miserably because of the hair. Drawing her hair in anime is really hard. Hopefully, I will get things like that figured out sometime.

God, today was boring. It sucked a lot. The only thing I can really do during days like this is blog and pace while daydreaming and listening to music. I do that quite a lot. The daydreams are anywhere from Zombie apocalypses to just what I should’ve done in a situation that already happened. I sometimes even have daydreams where I cry. Sometimes I daydream those type of things when I need to cry—because crying is good medicine when you feel overwhelmed or depressed. I don’t know why, but it always helps me.

I actually want to meet my favorite youtuber of all time at vidcon when I get enough money. His name is Damian Sanders-Baron, or makemebad35. He is my #1 favorite. He tops Shane Dawson even in my opinion, and Shane comes in as #3. #2 is Kyle or twelthofadime. They are all hilarious. I’m trying to entertain people and make vlogs that share my life, but I don’t have a digital video camera.

Today I also realized that some guys that I know, their girlfriends are threatened by me. My theory is that they are threatened of me because they are afraid I’ll take away their boyfriends. I wouldn’t do that intentionally. The reason I say that is I would do that unintentionally if,

A.      The guy was cheating on his girlfriend by using me and I didn’t know.

Or

B.      The girlfriend wanted to get back together with the guy and I didn’t know that.

Either way, I don’t want anyone to see me as a threat to their relationship.

Funny, the other day I went up to one of the guys, so I could say sorry to him, after he said he didn’t care, his girlfriend walked up as I was walking away, and he asked in a very soft and sympathetic voice to her,

“What’s wrong?”

I thought on the entire way home on the bus,

“Why couldn’t he be that way toward me? Why couldn’t any guy be that way toward me? If only I was her, then I could be with him, and he wouldn’t be afraid of me anymore.”

Romantic love is one of my weaknesses, but family love is one of my strengths. I just want someone who will actually care about my feelings, treat me like I matter, and will stay with me at least for a month. But still, I want one of the guys I like at least to treat me that way, at least for a while, and not be a total jerk. I’ve been heartbroken and feeling unwanted when it comes to guys. God, now I’m getting all teary. I’m going to stop there for today. :*)

Life is NVTS

This blog was inspired by Carrie Bradshaw’s Sex and the City columns. I want to write like her but since I’m only 14, I figured since blogs are bigger than paper columns I go online for this.

I am not a stalker. I always am thought of as a stalker in my school because of 8^th grade when I accidentally stalked a guy. But that was almost a year ago, and now I’m a freaking freshman for god’s sake. Not only that, but good god, all the freshman who went to Middle School with me spread rumors about me sleeping with my first boyfriend. No idea who started it, but all I know is that it causes me to want to rip my hair out every time someone intentionally tries to make me angry. Especially with a recent event with me trying to change my nickname from Becky to Sakura. But then a girl I know nicknamed B-Tay (I thought of that) kept calling me Shikira, like the singer. I didn’t even know about her before B-Tay told me about her. So finally I drew the line the next day and said,

“I’m going back to Becky.”

But also when it comes to ex-boyfriends, I’m able to patch things up with them enough to stay friends. Specifically, my first boyfriend that I’ll call Hex in these articles. He loves that name. But anyway, I hadn’t seen or heard from him in 4 months because he dumped me, then suddenly I got my chance to talk to him again in person because my grandma brought him over to get some books. My dad didn’t want me to see him because of some stuff he did before, while we were broken up. But I don’t care, because now he is a home schooled Junior, and as good as can be. We actually are allowed to be pen-pals too. Hex is like the brother I never had, and that is saying something because I am an only child.

But I was waiting for my 2 guy friends yesterday to come back to study hall after lunch, when a guy I’ve crushed on walked by with his girlfriend. I said, “Hi,” like I usually do, and as they walked past me, his girlfriend whispered rather loudly,

“Stalker.”

As I turned around to look at her, I thought,

“I should’ve called her a name. And do you call that a whisper?”

Like I said before, I’m not a stalker, and if I am, I don’t mean to be, because I never know when I am.

Also, I asked one of my other guy friends to come to homecoming with me which is in October, and he doesn’t know for sure if he is going to go or not because and I quote,

“The last 2 times I went I had nothing to do.”

I actually am hoping that he does go with me because I want a date for homecoming. I hate going to dances and stuff without a date.

But with things like this, I have the 6 best friends in the entire world to help me through. Their names are Nollz, Katie, Alex, Jessica, Julia, and Kaylie. They have supported me ever since I met all but Nollz at a church camp. We have been best friends ever since. But Nollz on the other hand, you could say me and her have been best friends since the womb.

Today at the Arts Festival in town, I went to my favorite store and got a Buddhist pendant with Buddha on the front, and the Yin and Yang on the back. At first I thought it was 16 cents, but then when I came back to the shop with 15 bucks, I found out in all it was $17.04. Luckily, the cashier girl helped me get the pendant because I had to have it held for me to go back across downtown, get more money, and travel back across downtown to get the pendant. At least I have it now. I feel like it was a good investment.